Drumroll Please . . .

Well hello there!  As you may or may not know. I am 5 days from my wedding.  I haven't decided whether or not I'll post another blog this week to make up for next week, or just simply go away for a week and let it slide.  Thoughts?

This past month has been crazy.  I've dealt with a lot of uncertainties that I've felt going into this marriage, and things that have caused me to take a moment and ponder what it is I'm actually doing.  Today though, I think I'm going to work a little differently.  Today I think I'm going to focus on mostly what I am sure about, and what I feel more confident about.

Everyone keeps asking if I'm nervous.  I know the answer should be "Yes, I am terribly nervous and it's only going to get worse." But in all honesty, I'm not nervous.  I spent my twenties single, I got to grow up and learn about who I am. I got to be the free single guy for a time, and it was fun to be sure.  But I'm ready to start taking the next step in my life.  And that next step is getting married and beginning a family. I'm ready to make the transition from "single guy" to "Married Man".  And to start to learn how to be the next step: "The Dad".

Of course I won't lie.  I have no clue what all that entails, but I am ready to start the learning process.  I never went through the, "I MUST GET MARRIED" stage.  That thought of, "If I don't get married, I'm not complete." never came to my mind.  A lot of that had to do with a tough relationship that had many, many downsides, and brought the relationship pain to the forefront.  So I could have as honest a look at the relationship process as I could.  And I knew that while it was something I wanted, it wasn't something I NEEDED to make my life complete.  It took awhile to really practice it, but I figured out that God will use me in whatever state I'm in, and I simply need to be doing what I'm called to be doing at that point in time.

And so I'm ready now to be used by God in the state that I'm about to enter in to.  So no, not nervous.  Totally not prepared for the adventure, but not nervous.

What I am ready for is for some normalcy to begin to enter back into life. As my girl Posted on her Blog, we are in a MAJOR state of flux right now. And with all the planning, buying, learning, moving, setup, life, work. . . . We just don't have a state of normal we can crawl into.  And I know, after the wedding, we'll have a new normal we'll have to get used to, but at least it will be a normal we can get used to.  My dad told me, "Welcome to the new normal."  And in some ways I can see that.  From here on out, it's never going to be a same old routine.  It will be different living, eating and sleeping with someone in that kind of proximity.  Kids are a whole other issue, and we still have to figure out each other as we go along.

I just want to have something that, at least for a little while, won't be in a constant state of flux like we are in now.  Neither one of us have a place that is ours.  And I think that might be the biggest issue.  Once we have "our place" no matter what else changes, that will be our refuge and we will be there to help each other through it.

Well, as I draw this blog to it's conclusion, I will say this.  While I'm sure I'll have more and more questions on the other side of the wedding, I am looking forward to it, like I haven't looked forward to anything in a long time.  And hopefully, I'll be giving you guys more positive type blogs about life, rather than the deep, thought provoking, (and a little depressing sometimes) blogs that have been in the past.

See you later this week.  (Maybe ;-D)